Insert tagboard
Thursday, August 31, 2006
monday, was good. but why do you lead me on when you know nothing is going to come out of it? can't believe im posting our pictures so openly but come on, not as if anyone will see them and moreover, i need a place to put these photos. they're taking a lot of space.
sigh.
why do you build me up, and then let me down again? =(
a change in the flavor of the candy would be good. this way you can taste better candies. =(
Saturday, August 26, 2006
what if you didn't look like that, would i still give you a chance to talk?
what if you didn't behave like that, would i still pay attention to you?
what if you didn't appeal to me like how you are now, would i still care?
sigh, superficiality seems to rule the world. it's so true, these days it's the face you first see, not the heart, not the soul. and why am i conformed to living like this?
if you didn't look like that, and looked worst. i think.. i won't even give you a chance to speak.
if you didn't behave like that, and behaved worst. think i won't pay any attention to you.
if you didn't appeal to me like how you are now, i won't bother. Why do you build me up (build me up) Buttercup, baby
Just to let me down (let me down) and mess me around
And then worst of all (worst of all) you never call, baby
When you say you will (say you will) but I love you still
I need you (I need you) more than anyone, darlin'
You know that I have from the start
So build me up (build me up) Buttercup, don't break my heart<3
oh boy, you sure know how to play your cards right. you've got me eating right out of your palm. i know it's so wrong to walk in to you trap, who knows it's all too good to be true? but why, why can't i stop myself. maybe, maybe it's better to experience some pain sometime then never at all. i can feel the impending danger, but im not moving anywhere further. values, instill values.chem-bio practial, english are all that matters FOR NOW. =]
still im smitten by your saccharine personality, pity i know that it's surreal. it's been so long since i've been this way.
and, i said that i was with gar again. damnit. i sure miss him so. nvm i'll see him tml. =D
&&&i'll just leave tml's worries to tomorrow, after all, God has his plan. and i'm following him.
superficiality still rule the world. and as much as we try to deny it, the fact is stated, and is staring so blatantly at us.
Friday, August 25, 2006
i watched a show on arts central the other day and they were showing the history of the forbidden city, even up till now, with technology so advanced, we are still unable to uncover the secrets within the forbidden city. the building stood the test of time, being the home to 24 emperors.
anyway the highlight of the show was something on eunuchs. i've always known eununchs to be people who are castrated so that they are able to be safer servents to the people in the palace.
but i thought, maybe they undergo vasectomy! but oh my, technology wasn't THAT advance then. the show said that they used to tie the hands of the men, and cut of their testicles. only half of the people who yearn to become eunuchs survive. afterall, holding a job in the palace then was quite prestigious.
well, what i didn't know is that they cut it off. and by cut it off, i gather you know what i mean (penile amputation). and they showed a picture too! which i found off the net, and if you really want to have a look at it. it's here. CLICKONME.
its amazing to see how people actually will themselves to go through such pain and agony just so they can earn themselves a prestigious job.
another point they brought up in the show was about how vicious women really are. there was a dynasty that was cursed to fall if they allow some women of the 'hei' (i think) triad to enter the palace. so being careful the emperor then, didn't have anything to do with that triad. but soon, their dynasty flourished and people grew to respect him. the emperor gradually let his guard down and ignore or rather forgot the curse.
soon, there was a woman of that triad who got herself into the palace, turning on her charms, seduced the men.
she soon became the emperor's concubine. well of course she got pregnant with a child, male. well given the that the traditional chinese (zhong nan qing nu) values of having a male would be good, she soon became empress. she abused her power and soon the dynasty fell.
(empress) Cixi was a devious despot who maintained a deathgrip on what little power she had until that power faded out completely. even with her last breath she was unwilling to let go of the power bestowed to her. she chose the youngest nephew (of age 3) to rule the dynasty.
anyway my point is, women even from the dawn of time already have this vicious insidious nature within them. hoho. like what mdm foo said: she said something about to make a woman smile it'll cost you your palace, to make her laugh, it'll cause you your nation.
anywhoo, if you want to read up on the empress dowager cixi it's here!
anywhoo, the Forbidden city is showing again at the esplanade, and really, if you have the time and money. go catch it. i watched it two years back, and it was great with a capital G. i was still quite dense then (haha, like im any better now?) and i found the show awesome. if it wasn't for the confound prelims, i think i'll be the first to get a ticket. and kit chan is good.
=D till next time.
some food for thought.
The beauty within it all, is perhaps about being able to stand anchored on your grounds whilst appreciating the ideals of the other .
from lance's blog and it's so true.
i can't seem to respect my own principles, respect my own ideas and get lead on by the nose. and when i actually do listen to my inner self, i will ignore others. so much for 'values.'
i tend to think so much about 'me' my entries consists mainly about me, i. thats all to life. well, theres so much more to life out there, and this blog is where i usually channel my innermost thoughts, random ones included. maybe, after being brought up in a conservative home, strict as can be, where freedom isn't much of a word even. i'm conformed to living a life where i do things in secrecy, i don't make much friends, i don't step out of my comfort zone and live the life.
maybe it's time to have my own values, follow them meticulously, complete with myself and myself only. where discipline tops my to-do-list. i won't just come online to talk to you, i won't accomodate you, theres no you anymore. it's just my friends, my family. me liking you will have to be at the bottom, because whatever i'm doing for you seem to affecting me badly.
i will stay away from the likes of you, i won't be a good-for-naught, i'll rise, and complete with myself.
and theres no 'me' and 'i' anymore. from now it's just people. and the world, the issues, studies, life.
afterall, how far can i go if i constantly scumble to self-pity? all my incessant inane comments on guys will have to stop. i will not ingratiate up to you, to get into your good books. afterall, i don't live to please you.
Dear Lord, bless and guide me, take me deeper in your word, help me to practise patience and self discipline. Bless the people around me, guide them too. help me not to be as gullible, i want a change in myself, throw my old self behind. from now it's just you and anything you want me to be. in Jesus name. Amen.
i'll follow my heart, live the life. love God more, love people who loves me.
and i've got a long way more to go, but it won't happen unless i start. and guide me, pick myself up when i fall.
in loving memory of cikgu rathia.
she just passed on. it's so sad, i mean one minute she can be screaming at us to clear our tables another minute she's in the hospital and another minute she left.
i miss her, i honestly do.
1st it was miss devi, whom i still can't get over the fact that she died. and now it's cikgu rathia.
oh Lord, bless them and take them to where you want them to be, bless her family and friends who mourn and like what mrs lie says, you mourn because you loved. bless them and take care of them, keeping them strong.
in Jesus name. amen.
happy birthday gareth. =D
lifes good now, i'm quite sane and not so clingy as to reply every single msg i receive.
and i studied ytd. =D finally.
now get movin'DO NOT CAST YOUR PEARLS BEFORE SWINE.
(do not waste good things on people who will not appreciate them.)
how so very true. and btw, jeremy keeps messaging me sick stuffs. i mean duh i'm not close to him please, who the heck does he think he is anyway?
Thursday, August 24, 2006
THINK STRAIGHT.
i can't just fall so deep now. when i see you on msn, i daren't click and talk to you. gosh. i mean i'm probably just ONE of those girls you meet. just ONE. and i might just only be some girl whom you don't really know.
and i want to talk to you but i daren't. damnit. damnit.
i ate so much today, and i've got a good mind to stick my finger down my throat. but no i won't
YES YOU'RE TALKING TO ME NOW
omg. feck whats wrong with me.
SEE THE SURGE IN MY fecking emotions!? damn.
i don't want to seem so dense, constantly blogging about stuff like these. i think i'll opt of a better blog space. probably livejournal.
or maybe i'll stick to blogger and blog about things that are interesting/worth reading. and i'll use proper English, i'll probably rise up to be something like xiaxue.
hah i wish. anyway, lance blogs in a way thats... so different from what i perceive him to be. and, i don't know . i like k's way of blogging, he doesn't use that many big words to awe his readers. he takes things with a pinch of salt and he makes it hilariously funny.
i don't know what i want, and i don't want to sound like some emo freak. because i know i can't afford to be one now. so why don't i just plaster a smile on my face. i'm sorry i can't be who you want me to be. and i can't be who i want myself to be. but i'll try.
laters.envelope me in your arms.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
if my heart would stop beating,
maybe it wouldn't hurt so much.
fickle. freak. feck.
i don't know. i should just study and study until my brain's fried.
and i should just delete all my messages, and ignore anyone, everyone from now on.
what was i hoping for? that you'll look my way once? well hell no that isn't happening. it's like sec3 playing all over again.
it's like bernard all over again.
it's like the hurt aches my heart.
it's like the internal pain that i can't remove.
it's beyond words.
and it's beyond me.
why am i so emo? why? why am i so desperate so clingy i feel nauseated at the sight of me.
why am i not pretty, why don't i have nice legs? why don't i have a social life?
why won't anybody love me?
why am i like that, like my confidence level is ZERO ZLICH.
and the only way to remove the pain, is to be cold hard and stony.
to ignore and to set my priorties right.
i'm not pretty so i will accept it.
i don't have nice legs and figure and i'll accept it.
i don't have people who would want to know it and i'll accept it.
feckfeckfeck. all this emo-ing is taking it's toll on me.
can i hold out longer? no i can't.
i've only known you for a few days and i can feel myself falling.
im so fickle i hate myself.
SEFGHR@#$$%#@@!!E*cursesandswears*
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
home econs free period! =D
Saturday, August 19, 2006
why..
am i conformed to the standards of the world, to be like one of them. it's sucking me dry, eating me up inside.
even juli, once opposed this is like that too. even me.
freak.
i don't know.
why. does superficality rule?
shit me. unattainable. gosh. freak.
freak, this sucks so bad. i don't want anyone else but you. and you're not the least THAT good looking. when i've got nice looking guys like lance whose talking to me ( nothing else but friends mind you.) and like i don't even like him. i only want you. and your birthday is coming soon.
SOON.
and i don't know what to get.
a teddy? well no? well feck.
some high-end goods?
i don't know.
i don't know.
you like josephine right? well sod it. i can never match up to her then. :(
i miss you bad.
sigh. i only wanna be with you. damnit.
i miss your hellos. i miss your jokes, i miss our fights, i miss our outings, i miss you and me walking down the streets.
i miss you so bad.
i even told jeremy that we were together, like a mutual understanding thing. well thats selfish of me to just deem us as together when we were prolly like good friends to you?
but i felt as if we WERE together. i miss you. i miss you.
you would talk to me usually for 5 hours. everyday. yes EVERYDAY. we would talk about sch, homework, you'd teach me. and all. you understood my situation so well.
even when i was cleaning the house you'd be talking to me. and you'd clean your house too.
but that was then.
i miss you bad.
take me by the hand take me somewhere new, don't know who you are but i'm with you.
i miss you. GarethDQH.
shit. =(
ah feck. what the hell is bloody hello wrong with me.
feck me feck me.
why am i so clingy. why am i like that. why am i not stick thin. why am i not pretty. why am i not intelligent. why am i constantly broke. why do i not have a social life.
feck
feck,
and jeremy is annoying the hell out of me la.
he calls me DEAR and SUNSHINE.
like WHY? im not his or something? please? gosh. and i'm such an ass la. shit.
hate this.
gosh. ah
ah
gareth's birthday is on the 25th. ahhhh WHAT AM I TO GET HIM? a bloody teddy to tell him how i feel!? fuck no.
he was like to him teddies prolly represented love.
so if i give him a teddy he'd prolly know? shit me shit me.
FEKFQFG$KG@#FKEWGWJEFLQ
what am i hoping for?!
gosh. i hate myself to the UTTER CORE.
i'll wear contacts,
i'll study real hard,
i'll achieve that figure i've long wanted,
i'll have nice hair,
my complexion will be good.
i'll be unattainable.
but will i be happy? sigh. why why why why why am i not perfect.
Friday, August 18, 2006
hahahahahaha.
ok im talking to someone called lance now, hahaha and he stays near me too. how weird, im like associated with people staying near me and all. and he says im nice. hahah!
and jeremy is damn weird la. even casey (rafael) thinks he has emotional problems. well and both of them are like bitching about each other to me and asking me to keep it all a secret. (so much for men, being.. men?)
rafael is alright, ( i'd rather call him rafael, caseys too weird hahah) and yea jeremy HATES it when i talk to rafael. and it's not as if i'm like his or something? and oh yea, jeremy seems to get all sad and uptight these days. oddity.
and he still does keep droning on about amanda, and how he has a problem talking to me like -in my face- thingie? well ok, you're a guy, stop being such a woman man.
!? and gosh he keeps insulting daniel. oh yea, rafael is in the national swim team! =D hahaa.
hmm. ok nvm. i'm like a freak, my prelims are drawing so close and i DO mingle with people WHO ARE BLOODY GOOD AT MATH. but i just don't ask. cause it's weird when they teach me.
if guys teaches me. it's like weird. haha i've got a soft spot for guys who teach.
like how you used to teach me chem and math. ever so patient. and never did you laugh. maybe a little. but never to a point so bad. =D i miss you sooooooo much. pity you won't see this.
i've. got. to. move. on. and. stop. hanging. onto. the. past.
gah.
and anyway, its like i've got to stop messaging jeremy, rafael or whoever else in class. people THINKS im attached. but hello im not. cause no one will like me. please. GAH.
i only want you and you only, but pity you won't want me.
i'll move on move on.
hai, i should stop talking to guys altogether and STUDY MY GOSH.
guys have grotesque faces. =D
i miss. you............ AH?!
Sunday, August 13, 2006
yesterday, i caught the fireworks for the fireworks festival. so my mum and i walked up to yarrow gardens down to OLPS. inbetween. and the fireworks was SO BEAUTIFUL.
so anyway, to go up there i've to walk pass k's house and then i saw him at the playground playing with his friends. like playing football? it's mighty obvious cause he's the oldest and the biggest (in size) there. haha! so anyway when we walked back. i saw him, he was at home watching tv!!! HAHAHA.
omg, i sound like a bloody stalker. nvm, it's coincidentally one alright? haha.
anyway today i had my p. so i stained. so needed new clothes moreover i was having cell for goodness sakes. so anyway tab jac and kenny were such sweeties! haha. although i don't know kenny well, or rather at all. he just lent me his bermudas without even thinking! see, nice people do exist.
on the other hand, stupid irresponsible people exists too! my sister for one, didn't bring her key out. so she was locked out. and my my this is the hundredth time that it's happening. so i had to accommodate her you know. gosh i nearly blew my top at her. but she better be thankful that ah lians exists. cause i forgotten all my wrath at my sis when i saw ah lians.
scenario.
i was in 293 with tab towards the interchange. so anyway, there were two stupid chaoahlians (cal) sitting behind us. and they started to hear some jaychou song followed by blackeyepeas (get it started gosh, so hate that song) and as usual these inconsiderate asinines just switch it on FULL BLAST. it was on really loudly and i got pissed cause i was ALREADY in a pissed mood.
so i glared. and the cals just started saying things.
me *glares*
cal1= diao diao diao. some people ah. diao ah diao.
cal2= labehchaocheebai, ze yang hai yao kan. lai wo men kai da sheng yi dian.
me *glares further* looks at tab and go like, some people, no social grace, so bloody inconsiderate can, switch on music, like please it's not even nice?
cal1= wl, lanjiao ah, wo men kai ye guan ta she me shi. tmd.
cal2= han lor, kanninabeichaocheebai, na ci hor ... (talks about their friend called jasmine who cried buckets cause some stranger scolded her) *swears again.*
someone from in front stares back. at them
*gleefully*, i said to tab, hai, it's not as if i'm the only one whose bothered please, i so hate ah lians, inconsiderate freaks.
293 stops at interchange.
i walk down, and at the same time glare at them in FULL VIEW NOW. and omg, wth! i mean if they looked like they're 15 or something i'd understand? but they look like PRIMARY SCHOOL KIDS? like cheesy clothes and hairband. and not even ah lian lookish. omg.
sigh. these days, teenagers - c.al.s have lost their standards? haha.
so anywhoo.
today, monday, i stayed in school. saw deborah. and she was like blahblahblah. then suddenly, and don't even bother saying anything about me.
so i was like huh?
so anyway, if you infer closely. i think she knows that i don't like her? and k--. so yea.
and like i ought to give up on k cause i don't like his sister, and she most prolly knows it as well. and might just go to him and complain. like whatever. hai. i should stop bitching. even if i hate her. but omg. shit me shit me.
moreover k's like mere infatuation? i mean, we don't even talk. i think he doesn't even know that i exists. omg. anyway it sucks to have a phone but you can't message because you've bombed your bill. oh shucks. gah. anyway it's like all a volatile infatuation. it will fade. IT WILL. gosh, anyway i think i speak too lazily, and i always give ambiguous answers that people don't know what im talking about. well oops.
nvm.
whatever. *slaps self*
today i studied a lil math.=D
oh, im gonna complain to adeline about how her tuition functions. i mean i can't have it when she just cuts off twenty minutes of my tuition time. i mean i can't stand her classes already so ending it early is good for my soul, but affecting my money? i lose out? well no-no you bitch, i've given you about six months of good pay and all that jazz and you always ALWAYS cut off my time. coming early and LEAVEING EARLIER. well. shit you bitch.
and when you come, you'd just give me TYS to do. well okay. and when you don't know how to answer some of the questions you'd just leave it. well ohkay. im sure i'm paying you frigging 280/mth for all that.
feck.
volatile emotions! ?!
Friday, August 11, 2006
time goes by, so slowly. EMO!
Fill my life with song
ITS SO BEAUTIFUL. and i took it.
omg, seriously WHATS WRONG WITH ME.
hai. C5 for chinese. am i suppose to be contented or what? cause im not. today i cried my eyes out in the toilet. and i thought it was a wake up call. omg. know what? i'm gonna type gibberish for the password of this computer and then i won't know. that way i'll lock myself out of it. good? i think so. i mean, i know how to switch it back anyway.
i've to practice self-discipline. anyway i'm retaking chinese, given my standard, i should be satisfied with a C5. but i'm not. so sod it.
i didn't message jeremy today. well haa! =D
and partly it's due to me SENDING A THOUSAND MESSAGES for this month! omgsh.
=x
alrighties. 5/2 is moving to the EOA room. cool or what. mrs crossly rocks socks! =D lol. Fly me to the moon
And let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words hold my hand
In other words darling kiss me
And let me sing forevermore
You are all I hope for
All I worship and adore
In other words please be true
In other words I love you *saw a dang cute guy today, although he's a tad bit older, but he's mightly cute. pity he smokes and he stares at me as if i offended him in a BIG way. grr.
neverimind. looks are not everything in the world.
i want to love somebody,
and i want that somebody to love me.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
omg what the feck is wrong with fivetwo now? haiii.
everyone is having a conflict of their own. its mightly childish i must say. and i'm the worst, i feel as if i play a BIG part it in. well shit me.
and oh yea, there's a lot of hypocrisy going around. people hating phina people hating whoever else.
omg whatevershit. i should just leave my hands alone and not bother, because the more i know, the more i'll spread so i rather i not know anything. omg. feck me. why can't i keep secrets!? i only kept secrets REALLY well for gareth. so far. haha. wth?
and hai. i don't know. i really don't. jeremy didn't come to tuition today. i think his phone is spoilt? he didn't msg me for like a dang long time already. ok maybe it's cause i'm weird. i'm too clingy. well back off pam. BACK off. shizter.
i think i'm a big ass fat FREAK.
i've got SS test tml and i've yet to touch my book.
well sod it.
gah
ok
CHINESE OS RESULTS OUT TOMORROW. (TENTATIVE)
(or rather, i think it's out tml haha.)
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
omgah. im helping tiffany to get the guy she likes. i just added him on msn and talk to him. feck. now the entire st pats probably thinks that i'm some sort of despo freak?!
omg. and kelvin likes a girl called meagan. jeffrey too. jeff is the tiff's dude. ok feck.
who'll see this anyway?
anyway my maid's being such a FrEAKING BITCH. omg stop nagging for goodness sakes.
gah! and im not suppose to be online. WOW. very nice. i just ruin my reputation and all. and i agreed so readily to help tiffany out. shit me pam. shit me.
and i told her that i don't really care about my reputation cause there's not one that i want to impress over at stpats. wow. it's dang true alright. but wth!
omg. why. do. i. not. think!
and meagan is hot for a girl whose in sec1. when i was in sec1 i looked like a big fat nerd. ok the fat and big part isn't right cause i was STICK THIN then. now. i look like some big fat ugly nerd who can't study and her legs are mighty huge girl.
feck la. superficial world. makes me not wannna eat to attain that stick thin body. and to be hell hot. but gosh, my willpower is very weak. feck.
anywy back to my point. i've ruin my reputation. and oh i just found out that K's in NCC. or rather was in ncc.
why am i always associated with people in the uniformed groups? omg. asinine = me.
fire works were lovely btw.
Monday, August 07, 2006
for safety reasons. url changed.
The gods may throw a dice
Their minds as cold as ice
And someone way down here
Loses someone dear
The winner takes it all
The loser has to fall
Its simple and its plain
Why should I complain.
what happened to us.
really just a few months and everything's so different. so so different. you used to call me up every night. and we would just talk crap and trash. you would do your work and show off or at the computer while i watched nip/tuck. and if there was a gory part. i'll tell you and you'll switch on your tele and watch it with me. and then you'll make a gory joke and we'd laugh. we watched stairway to heaven too. yours in chinese, mine in korean. you'll call me after your tuition and talk about our days. i'll switch off the television just to talk to you. you'll call me after your o's orals and tell me how you did. you'll call me after your prelims and tell me what you wrote in your composition. like what you did, you wrote about my dogs. haha. you'll tell me about catherine and whatevers and rants and all. i'll complain as usual and you'll make me laugh, appease me and tell me a joke. and when i laugh, you'll say that yay im not angry anymore. you'd teach me math and chemistry. although you'd use complex techniques to teach me but i'll try to understand. and you'll tell me about whats up and all. we caught war of the worlds and ultraviolet together; walked through suntec to raffles to city link to marina and back. sit ourselves down at BK and you laughing at my ice cream whilst teaching me math. i'm in my uniform and we'd walk to some CD shop. they play CSS songs and you'll laugh. sian. our first fight was during FOP last year when i promised and said that i'll go with you but i didn't in the end. and said a lot of things that i didn't mean.
you're the first guy that i actually bought a present for, and the first guy that i've received something from. although you're not the best looking dude in the world but i thought that you had something in your character that never fails to amaze me. and for one, you're very responsible. you've never broken a promise to me. and go all out to do nice things for everyone.
but now, after you've moved on to poly, everything just stopped. i guess maybe it's because you've met new people and moved on. and i.. am still stuck here. asking you to come back and talk to me every night, to inspire and teach me would be the most selfish thing to do. and i won't ask.
gosh, i just want to say that i miss you so so much. we were good friends until it comes to a point when everyone thinks that we should be together. and i secretly liked you. but i've stopped liking you because i think we've grown so apart in 6 months and... everything's different. so different.
talking to you now is just plain weird. what happened to US. what happened.
gosh, i miss you. i really wish that you can see this.. but i guess not. all this will remain apart of my memories and.. sometimes i wish that i'll regain the guts that i had before, to tell people how i felt. when i liked 'you' i'll tell. but now? everything's so suppressed.
i tell people that i like k. but in actual i don't know. maybe it's infatuation. i like his smile, i really do. i like smart people, he's in TJC. i like tall people. but it's not there you see. with the other guy i mentioned way above it was much more genuine, there was a connection.we were good friends. im underscoring WERE. for k, it's like a one-sided thing, we barely talked for goodness sakes.
and as for jeremy, he's a big fat stinking asinine. and he's younger then i am, hence the childishness, 'going on and on about amanda bynes' RIGGHT. well sod it dude. quit your inane comments cause i won't be entertaining anymore of it. jeremy=asinine. flirting with my best friend when you don't know her? WOW!
whatever seriously. i should just sit my ass down and study cause prelims are two weeks away. and chinese o's results are out this friday. my gut feeling says that i'll get a C5-F9. i pray that that's not true. please.
now, i can only reminisce. and my heart aches so badly. so so badly. i miss you so bad. feck.
Saturday, August 05, 2006
he never sleeps,
he never slumbers,
hes never tired of hearing our prayer,
when we are weak,
he becomes stronger
so rest in his love
and cast all of your cares on him.
DON MOEN IS DANG GOOD. love his voice, crystal clear! and he has those happy eyes and a nice smile! =D
i like guys who has happy eyes. and smile always.
but too bad. happy eyes people are usually older guys cause they're wrinkled and they smile often and thus the happy eyes.
oh well. singapore's too minute to find someone like this.
FOP was great. <3s
CCC is good too, the speaker though italian, but he's funny. =D
XD
haish. i told preeti phina's blog link. shit. whats wrong with my, crossing over to the other side. going against phina. but then again. phina ignored me when i thanked her today. gosh.
i don't know. it's HER blog. she entrusted it with me. and... i don't know? i spreaded? bitch.
IM the bitch. feck.
i hate the person i'm becoming.
sometimes, i don't know what to do with her thing. but then again. i should not continue this right? i mean.. it's not right.. and ... i don't know. she sure has her reasons after all..
wtf.
Corazón de mi vida (you're the centre of my life.)
Friday, August 04, 2006
微笑 (wei xiao) pasta seems REALLY nice?
main reason why i hate idol drama, it's cause everything is so... perfect. this guy will be with her and vice versa. they're handsome pretty, charming.
gahh.
it's a love-hate thing. sian.
=(
and i suck. i wasted a month and a week. and my prelims are drawing REALLY near. and im watching 微笑(wei xiao) pasta.
get a life pamela. get a life.
lame shit!
today i was late for school. i woke up at 7.30 bloody heck. i slept at FIVE o clock. why? cause i can't study at night? why? cause my bro and sis ALWAYS on their bloody music. feck. even when i told them to switch it off, they just turn in a deaf ear. so whatever right. i might as well go and sleep and wake up when THEY sleep.
well thats what i did, and knowing me, i can't wake up by myself, i got my sis to wake me up. and since she sleeps at one. obviously i can't last till 6 and leave for school, so i set alarm. and wth. too tired to hear. feck.
oh,nevermind. it's my fault.
and i hope the guard didn't pass sng my DC slip. cause it'll be the FIFTH time i'm late, oh wait, isn't it the sixth? whats wrong with me man..
and since im late i won't want to go to school, but tita had to blurt out and said that im still sleeping. so mum made me leave for school, and she dropped me at the school gate, my my, if it wasn't for morning exercise, i think i would have humiliated my arse there and then.
thank goodness for the very nice prefect. and i saw adeline, she's crying cause she's late for the fifth time.
oh well. and i don't think i have to do DC. my i really hope not.
ok ciao! im tired. *yawns* tml is FOP. =D
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Freeze-thaw action occurs mainly in environments where there is a lot of moisture, and temperatures frequently fluctuate above and below freezing point—that is, mainly alpine and periglacial areas. When water that has entered the joints freezes, the ice formed strains the walls of the joints and causes the joints to deepen and widen. This is because the volume of water expands by 9% when it freezes. When the ice thaws, water can flow further into the rock. When the temperature drops below freezing point and the water freezes again, the ice enlarges the joints further. Repeated freeze-thaw action weakens the rocks which, over time, break up along the joints into angular pieces. The angular rock fragments gather at the foot of the slope to form a talus slope (or scree slope). The splitting of rocks along the joints into blocks is called block disintegration. The blocks of rocks that are detached are of various shapes depending on their rock structure. In pressure release, overlying materials (not necessarily rocks) are removed (by erosion, or other processes), which causes underlying rocks to expand and fracture parallel to the surface. Often the overlying material is heavy, and the underlying rocks experience high pressure under them, for example, a moving glacier. Pressure release may also cause exfoliation to occur. Intrusive igneous rocks (e.g. granite) are formed deep beneath the earth's surface. They are under tremendous pressure because of the overlying rock material. When erosion removes the overlying rock material, these intrusive rocks are exposed and the pressure on them is released. The outer parts of the rocks then tend to expand. The expansion sets up stresses which cause fractures parallel to the rock surface to form. Over time, sheets of rock break away from the exposed rocks along the fractures. Pressure release is also known as "exfoliation" or "sheeting". Salt crystallisation causes disintegration of rocks when saline (see salinity) solutions seep into cracks and joints in the rocks and evaporate, leaving salt crystals behind. These salt crystals expand as they are heated up, exerting pressure on the confining rock. Salt crystallisation may also take place when solutions decompose rocks (for example, limestone and chalk) to form salt solutions of sodium sulfate or sodium carbonate, of which the moisture evaporates to form their respective salt crystals.
OMG WIKIPEDIA ROCKS SOCKS. it's like, it has EVERYTHING! from celebrity names to msn shortforms! you can find ZOMG, LOL, EMO on wikipedia. and they have stuff on WEATHERING TOO.
omgah. *faints*
anyway, reason why the entry is because i love to re-read my entries OVER AND OVER AGAIN (see, eg of compulsive behaviour) and i like to blog. so might as well blog down my notes right? so that i can ahem, share it with people, and i can RE READ IT. and i can learn something too! what a genius. =D i love wikipedia! =D
and my cookies! only 1/4 is left. mum says they're too soft for her liking. she likes rock-hard ones. which i absolutely hate because i like mrs fields cookies. and if you haven't tasted them, shame on you. they're REALLY soft and nice and CHEWY. if i can bake cookies LIKE THAT. i will immediately set up my own retail cookie outlet. and i will expect to see customers STREAMING in to eat MY HOMEMADE CHEWY COOKIES! and my surname will come in handy then! =D hahahaha. im so freaking lame!
*i think i ought to spread my lameshit onto my other blog. haha! if not my post ALWAYS looks so darn boring. like me! but wth?*
nvm. oh right. weathering.
i've been stuck on geog for MONTHS. and i can say that i covered three topics. which isn't a big lie. i mean i've read up on.. whats that? population, weathering and weather and climate. which is really true. but the prob is. i can't remember?
nvm!
WEATHERING is the wearing of rocks or disintegration of rocks in situ. (without movement).
EROSION is the breaking down of rocks by natural means.
wikipedia says:
Weathering is the process of disintegration of rocks, soils and their minerals through direct, or indirect contact with the atmosphere. Weathering occurs 'in situ', or 'without movement', and thus should not to be confused with erosion, which involves the movement and disintegration of rocks and minerals by processes such as water, wind, ice or gravity.
physical weathering is the disintegration of rocks in situ.
wikipedia says:
Mechanical weathering is a cause of the disintegration of rocks or wood. Most of the times it produces smaller angular fragments (like scree), as compared to chemical weathering. However, chemical and physical weathering often go hand in hand. For example, cracks exploited by mechanical weathering will increase the surface area exposed to chemical action. Furthermore, the chemical action at minerals in cracks can aid the disintegration process.
EXFLOLIATION (or thermal expansion which i can't find in my textbook but it's found everywhere else even in marian chong's)
is caused by the constant heating and cooling of rocks. when rocks are heated up, they expand and contracts when cooled. this causes the rocks to exfloliate. think: onion.
wikipedia says:
Thermal Expansion, also known as onion-skin weathering, often occurs in hot areas, like deserts, where there is a large diurnal temperature range. The temperatures soar high in the day, while dipping to a few degrees at night. As the rock heats up and expands by day, and cools and contracts by night, stress is often exerted on the outer layers. The stress causes the peeling off of the outer layers of rocks in thin sheets. Though this is caused mainly by temperature changes, thermal expansion cannot take place without the presence of moisture.
FREEZE-THAW ACTION ( my favourite!)
during the day, water seeps into the joints or cracks of rocks, when the temperature drops at night. the water freezes and the volume is increased by 9% (or rather 8.9% but it's around there. haha) this stresses the rocks and cause the joints or cracks to expand further. during the day, the water melts and more water seeps into the enlarged cracks/joints. this process is repeated several times and the rocks will weaken and disintegrate to form scree.
wiki says:
in pressure release, overlying materials (ie soil) will be removed. due to the increasing blahbloiegw?
gosh hate this unloading shit. i don't understand at all!!! omg. wikipedia i realise, is a free-to-edit encyclopedia. so means the info may not be right at all! hmp nvm.
wiki says:
in places like the desert where water from the ground contains dissolved salts, or coastal places where sea sprays are trapped in the cavaities of the rocks. the water evaporates, leaving the salt behind as crystals in the pore spaces, cavaities and joints of the rocks. the salt crystals will grow as more seasprays are trapped or ground water is drawn up and more evaporation occurs. the salt minerals swell if they absorb water from rain and dew. build up more crystals and their swelling results stress in the rocks. this weakens their structure and they slowly break down.
wiki says:
this is so depressing!!! I CANT STUDY OMG WTF.
nevermind. i feel as if i've got tons of eyeshit. gah. and oh oh oh! NEXT WEEK i've got twodays worth of holiday! omg. =D
=D
i saw your face, in a crowded place, and i don't know what to do. cause i'll never be with you...
FRIDAYS ARE LOVE.
omg. i wasted today. other then baking bloody chocolatey cookies, and finishing my lit. i didn't do anything else?! wtf.
i keep wanting to pack some BLOODY CHOCOLATEY COOKIES and deliver them to his bloody doorstep. but i CANNOT. if not that stupidbitch will see me and she'll know it's me crushing on her brother. feck.
and i STILL thinks that he doesn't know me. omg. i'm a compulsive freak who wants to give him cookies, hoping that he'll take me to dinner at bloody bigfish. we'll go dutch definitely.
haha. wishful thinking on my part. it's great that everyone that ate MY cookies thinks it's lovely. little do they know that it's from a PREMADE powder pack. *guffaws*
YAN can definitely bake. with plenty of help of course. you think miracles happen? i think otherwise. =D
my friends will flip when they know i like the brother of the girl i absolutely loathe.
i think i blog better with a genuine personal space.
and dictionary.com is my life saviour. without it, i think i'll be a bloody moron flipping the dictionary every second to double check that the word im typing on my blog is spelt in the right way.
and oh yea, guarantee is spelt this way. haha. i FINALLY know that. and i've got BIG problems on remember big common words like definitely, absolutely and unfortunately. it's a wonder that during exams i can spell them correctly and then forget their spelling after my paper's over.
hmm.
freeze-thaw action. i know that water seeps into the joints or cracks of the rocks and during the night the temperature drops drastically and the volume of the water expands by 9% thus leading to the joints and cracks of the rocks to expand further. during the day the water is melted and more water seeps into the enlarged joints. when this process is repeated, the rocks weaken and will break down to form scree.
SAY YAY. it's from my memory pls. and haha thats all that i can remember from weathering.
eat crap pamela. your math is like junk.
his math is very good, why don't i just ask him to teach me? omg. shit you. you forgot? he might not know you?
WHEN ALL YOU HAVE TO KEEP IS STRONG; MOVE ALONG MOVE ALONG LIKE I KNOW YOU DO; AND EVEN WHEN YOUR HOPE IS GONE, MOVE ALONG MOVE ALONG....
i better shower now. i'm all smelly and oily. eek.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
there's no school today so i woke up at good old 9o'clock. didn't wash up or anything i just had ONE thing on my mind. and that's COOKIES! HAHAHAHA
i walked down, took out the necessary ingredients and started to make the cookies. the first batch -naturally- didn't turn out good at all! it was badly burnt. but i ate it all the same. thankfully i made like three only?
so yea.
the second batch was made by tita. and (she helped me in beating the stuffs together) hers was alright. until we put it into the fridge and it tasted GREAT hahaha! like MRS FIELDS ALL SOFT AND CHOCOLATEY!! HAHAHHA
omg. mrs fields only home-made! isn't that LOVE?
=D
so yea, i figured how to make MINE taste great after a series of FAILED attempts. (although i ate all the failed attempts)
i put the cookies in for FIVE good minutes only. if not it'll be burnt. and i made them small cause they'll naturally spread. and only 8 per batch! my logic is that the heat will go around. =D
so yea after a batch i'll put it into the fridge until the next batch is done so technically it's five mins. haahha. and its' so mrs fields. and it's chocolate. i'll grow OBESE after eating those.
hahahahahahaha omg... life's great.
i saw him yesterday, i baked cookies today, i don't have school today. and omg. i'm HAPPY.
=D
=D if only i can let you try my cookies! i've got a good mind to walk down to your house now and give you some. but pity. i think you forgotten me sheesh. and your'e in school now what am i talking about .
and i think xian has access to this blog! if not why would she know about him and him being in TJC. so HI XIAN if you can see this! HAHAH my cookies are love. =D
haha and get off my blog. haha! lols.
ECSTATIC.
the premade ones looks like poop. but it's chocolate. hahaha im a freak man. i ate some when it as in it's powder form. and i ate somemore when im mixing it. and more when it's baking. and one from each batch. not to mention those FAILED ATTEMPTS cookies. haha.
im such a freak!
my favourite picture of all, has an artistic feel to it. =) well it's cookies, what's there not to love?
see looks like poop doesn't it?
more poop in the making to be cookies.
poop! hahahaha i don't think you guys want my cookies after i keep saying it looks like poop. but oh love love.
im becoming so girly it's freaking me out. PAM CAN ACTUALLY BAKE! HAHAHA. and pam wants to give cookies to people she likes.
omg. FREAK.
i've a flair for baking. if YAN can cook! so can you! (pun intended, note that i've got a YAN in my name hahahaha)
i'm so lame?
guess what!! im ELATED ECSTATIC OMG!
=D=D=D!!
today, i was on my way home from tuition, and i one stop before my stop, i saw big fish. so i daydreamed that one day ONE FINE DAY, i might. MIGHT just go in and have dinner WITH YOU. and so my stop came so i went down. look around and saw a TJC guy. didn't give it much thought.
then the tjc dude came and stood behind me. so obviously stopping at the same stop?
and i turned. AND IT WAS YOU! omg omg OMG!
so yea, walked home and since you lived near me. i thought i saw you walking behind me. but tsk no. i think you went into 7/11? OMG I COULDVE BEAT MYSELF UP!
WHY DO I BLOODY HELL WALK SO FAST?!!? omg!
shits. hahah but i'm damn happy. although i've not talked to you for a VERY long time. but... haha! omg. call it infatuation. but whatever. im happy and that's all that matters.
<3s...
i really wanna have dinner with you though. how weird.but i would like to. =D and catch fire works.
=D hahahaha omg.
and btw. HIS NAME IS -iwon'tsay- better to be safe then sorry aye?
and i hate his sister.shits. and she's in my sch. gah.
when will i start to study?!
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
If you drink too much caffeine at one time, it can make you feel nervous or jumpy. Your hands may shake. You may feel like there's something you forgot to do. Too much caffeine will make it hard to fall asleep, which might mean you won't be able to pay attention in school the next day. And too much caffeine can give you a stomachache, headache, or a racing heartbeat. In fact, kids with heart problems should not drink caffeine because it's known to affect heart rates and force the heart to work harder. *
it's the first of august! and it's my dad's birthday!!! =)HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAPA!
although i don't say it ( in fact i only said it once, since the adam khoo thingie) but i love you so much. haha! i just don't dare to say it. and vice versa. but i know actions speak louder then words and you've shown your love for us all in various ways! =D and i know you won't see this. haha.
*
Symptoms of too much caffeine (headache, tremor, nervousness, irritability, increased sensitivity), results from an intake of 200 to 500 milligrams of caffeine daily (two to six cups of coffee or three to eight cups of tea).
i learn now, that sometimes making your money worth, doesn't apply to somethings.
gave tab her bible! she's very happy, or so she claims. nevermind i BELIEVE that she's really happy, and she ought to be cause i took a month to save enough cash. haha.
oh, btw! juliana and i went to have our dresses tailored. =) and my mums friend was telling me how MY MUMS' figure was so nice! and that people then, wear jeans waist-high. which explains why they have slender figures. well haha, you want a nice figure? be traditional! don on a waist-high jean(s).
*
CTI (carpenters tools international) they're a christian band from a church that offers summer services? lol, or rather outreach. and they went to our school to play songs for sec3 students. and us being sec5s and curious, went to join in the fun! i went home and checked out their site. and they do really cool things!! like, intense musical training for two weeks! and then a month long trip OVERSEAS. waw.
CLICKHERETOSEEIT!
Jealousy brings about a bitter and mean feeling. moreover it's the root of ALL evil. but why can't i stop being jealous? ugh. is being the best in anything/everything that important? in this world, i'm afraid so. and unfortunately i can't be the best. because i see people better then i am, and yes sadly, i'm jealous. =(
cell group on sunday was fun! we played games of polar bear, game after game. and denise came back. =) mighty great to see her after a long long while. but i think we played too much? and didn't do what we were suppose to do. oops.
i'm feeling so emo(tional) now. don't talk to me. gahh. i wish with all my heart to kick that feeling out. gah.
oh, intending to bake some cookies on thursday cause it's a holiday. going for festival of praise on saturday. i CANNOT wait. =D
emo.emo.emo.
it's funny how i can feel so happy, a surge in my emotions just a minute ago, and now everything seems to spiral downwards. blame melancholic songs.why am i not the best! what am i do on earth. i am created. for?
everything in a nutshell:
tata all. thursday is a holiday, the words CAN'T WAIT is written all over my face.
Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
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Designer: j3tflame
