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Monday, August 07, 2006
The gods may throw a dice
Their minds as cold as ice
And someone way down here
Loses someone dear
The winner takes it all
The loser has to fall
Its simple and its plain
Why should I complain.
what happened to us.
really just a few months and everything's so different. so so different. you used to call me up every night. and we would just talk crap and trash. you would do your work and show off or at the computer while i watched nip/tuck. and if there was a gory part. i'll tell you and you'll switch on your tele and watch it with me. and then you'll make a gory joke and we'd laugh. we watched stairway to heaven too. yours in chinese, mine in korean. you'll call me after your tuition and talk about our days. i'll switch off the television just to talk to you. you'll call me after your o's orals and tell me how you did. you'll call me after your prelims and tell me what you wrote in your composition. like what you did, you wrote about my dogs. haha. you'll tell me about catherine and whatevers and rants and all. i'll complain as usual and you'll make me laugh, appease me and tell me a joke. and when i laugh, you'll say that yay im not angry anymore. you'd teach me math and chemistry. although you'd use complex techniques to teach me but i'll try to understand. and you'll tell me about whats up and all. we caught war of the worlds and ultraviolet together; walked through suntec to raffles to city link to marina and back. sit ourselves down at BK and you laughing at my ice cream whilst teaching me math. i'm in my uniform and we'd walk to some CD shop. they play CSS songs and you'll laugh. sian. our first fight was during FOP last year when i promised and said that i'll go with you but i didn't in the end. and said a lot of things that i didn't mean.
you're the first guy that i actually bought a present for, and the first guy that i've received something from. although you're not the best looking dude in the world but i thought that you had something in your character that never fails to amaze me. and for one, you're very responsible. you've never broken a promise to me. and go all out to do nice things for everyone.
but now, after you've moved on to poly, everything just stopped. i guess maybe it's because you've met new people and moved on. and i.. am still stuck here. asking you to come back and talk to me every night, to inspire and teach me would be the most selfish thing to do. and i won't ask.
gosh, i just want to say that i miss you so so much. we were good friends until it comes to a point when everyone thinks that we should be together. and i secretly liked you. but i've stopped liking you because i think we've grown so apart in 6 months and... everything's different. so different.
talking to you now is just plain weird. what happened to US. what happened.
gosh, i miss you. i really wish that you can see this.. but i guess not. all this will remain apart of my memories and.. sometimes i wish that i'll regain the guts that i had before, to tell people how i felt. when i liked 'you' i'll tell. but now? everything's so suppressed.
i tell people that i like k. but in actual i don't know. maybe it's infatuation. i like his smile, i really do. i like smart people, he's in TJC. i like tall people. but it's not there you see. with the other guy i mentioned way above it was much more genuine, there was a connection.we were good friends. im underscoring WERE. for k, it's like a one-sided thing, we barely talked for goodness sakes.
and as for jeremy, he's a big fat stinking asinine. and he's younger then i am, hence the childishness, 'going on and on about amanda bynes' RIGGHT. well sod it dude. quit your inane comments cause i won't be entertaining anymore of it. jeremy=asinine. flirting with my best friend when you don't know her? WOW!
whatever seriously. i should just sit my ass down and study cause prelims are two weeks away. and chinese o's results are out this friday. my gut feeling says that i'll get a C5-F9. i pray that that's not true. please.
now, i can only reminisce. and my heart aches so badly. so so badly. i miss you so bad. feck.
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